


Eight Times

by mazikem (Peoples_republic)



Category: Bleach, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adopted Harry Potter, Dumbledore Bashing, Family, Fluff, Humor, hogwarts is weird, kind of?, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 04:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5770867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peoples_republic/pseuds/mazikem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter is adopted and raised in the Kurosaki household. He goes off to Hogwarts, and by the end of the year, Kurosaki Ichigo has had enough and goes off to inquire as to why his little brother has almost died multiple times over the course of the school year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eight Times

Headmaster Dumbledore sat at his desk and rubbed his eyes. His loyal companion, Fawkes, chirped consonantly by his side. The past year had been a most eventful and trying year. Harry Potter had, as expected, rescued the Philosopher’s Stone from Voldemort’s grip, but well, Dumbledore would have preferred it with less near-death experiences along the way.

A tapping on his window distracted him from his rumination, and he saw a snowy white owl. Hedwig? But why would Harry be sending him a message by owl?

He let the bird in and he pulled the message off of her leg. But instead of the expected message from Harry Potter, there was something quite different. Short and brusque, there was written:  
“We need to talk. I will be there in 5 minutes.  
\- Ichigo Kurosaki”

Kurosaki? That was the family that had taken Harry from his family and brought him to Japan. But they were not wizards. Why would one of them be coming to Hogwarts? How would they even get to Hogwarts?

Dumbledore was very worried by this message. Harry’s new family coming to Hogwarts was unprecedented, but even more troubling was the way the message was phrased. ‘I will be there’? This was a school for magic. Random people were not allowed to just waltz in as they please.

Well, he decided, best not to worry about it now. Harry’s adopted family was comprised of muggles, was it not? It was time to celebrate the completion of one more school year at the last dinner of the year.

* * *

 

5 minutes later…

Ichigo stormed into the hall, slamming the door behind him. The sound echoed off the walls, and the chatter quickly quieted down as people turned to stare at the orange-haired muggle clothes wearing stranger standing in the entranceway.

“I’m here to talk to whoever is in charge,” he announced. The whispers started: “who is he, what is he doing, muggle, how did he get past the wards, is he a Weasely, muggle, who is he, kill him, muggle.”

Harry Potter stood up, and the whispers turned to him. “Nii-san… you didn’t need to come…”

“Of course I did, Harry. What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t?”

The whispers intensified: “what did he say, what language was that, Harry Potter, do they know each other.”

At the head table, Minerva McGonagall voiced the confusion of the students and staff. “Who are you, and how did you get here?! This is a private establishment!”

Ichigo responded, in English this time “I am Ichigo Kurosaki. My family raised Harry Potter over there, and I want to know why he has had at least four attempts on his life in the school where it was promised that he’d be safe. Because if I don’t get the answers I want, I will withdraw him from this school.”

At the Slytherin table, Harry Potter had sat down and was burying his face in his hands, groaning, “Nii-san…”

Ichigo continued, “So, I want to speak with your headmaster over there. I already sent him a letter telling him that I was going to pay a visit.”

Sitting at the head table, Dumbledore was deeply regretting his decision to ignore his letter.

* * *

Calm blue eyes twinkled at him, on a smiling face. Ichigo wanted to punch it.

“I just want to know why my little brother has almost died a total of, what eight times, over the course of this school year. Your explanation is full of bullshit.”

“I assure you, Mr. Kurosaki, that Harry has been perfectly safe at Hogwarts,” replied Dumbledore, “Despite his a few minor injuries and such, his life has never been in any real danger.”

“I see. Just a few minor injuries. No real danger at all. I must have imagined the Dark Lord out for his blood, the one that managed to get into this school and stay undetected for almost the entire school year.”

“Mr. Kurosaki,” Dumbledore cut in. “I assure you that we have taken every possible measure to ensure Harry’s safety.”

“Yeah, totally. So that’s why he has almost died eight times. I can totally see your safety measures,” Ichigo replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

He continued, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about. And most of those almost deaths were the direct cause of teachers’ actions…. Oh, wait, they all were the direct cause of a teacher’s actions. The Dark Lord in Disguise almost took his life during that game of Quidditch, a few months ago, and in that forest, where you specifically told students to stay out of, but still made them go inside to serve detentions when you knew there was something in there killing creatures that are really hard to kill? Seriously? You let a ferocious three-headed dog into the school, locked behind a door that can be opened by, if I understand this properly, a first year spell. There was a fire-breathing dragon on grounds for weeks. And then there was that troll on Halloween. Don’t you have wards that are supposed to keep those things out? Plus the plant that strangles you, the murderous chess set, the other troll, and the poison, which you used to protect a super secret and powerful stone that appears to me was perfectly safe wherever it had been for the past six hundred years. And the fact that that those protections were so pathetic that a couple of eleven year olds could get past them. Nevermind that, though, that’s not the point of this conversation.”

He had never been one for interfering in other people’s affairs, but this was his little brother, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect his family.

“Explanation. Now.”

Dumbledore was feeling very nervous by now. “Well, Harry’s the Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived. He will save the Wizarding Wor-“

“Are you kidding me?” Ichigo cut him off. “He’s ten. That’s it. I am pulling my brother from this death trap of a school, and there is nothing you can say to stop me.”

* * *

 OMAKE

“You really do have a flair for the dramatic, nii-san,” said Harry.

“What do you mean?!” replied his older brother, indignantly. “I do not. I was just giving your headmaster my opinion on his education system here. It’s just not very positive.”


End file.
